Hi, I'm JC! I bought this domain when .ing TLD became a thing. I think it's a very cool domain. I intend to use it for its eponymous purpose. Usually it'll be about programming but occasionally I will veer off into other things. They will all fit the theme though, for the most part. The reason why I am interested in doing this is because there are many things I want to understand conceptually that I may not always get right, and braindumping lets me attach this disclaimer while also getting to write lots. But mostly I just enjoy writing about things that are interesting. I hope you enjoy!
A bit about me:
I like to build things. Right now my mediums of choice are code and words. I want to build things one day of both simplicity and scale while deeply enjoying myself, and ideally this involves hard-ware in the future as I think there is a lot of room for simplicity and scale there.
I like a lot of things, even if I'm not particularly good at them. Here I will talk about some of them:
I really like programming. Right now my interest is in graphics programming and understanding the underlying architecture, and branching off from there. I want to write more shaders.
I really like adventuring. I just got back to San Francisco from a couple of months in South America. I've had the immense privilege of growing up in various places: Fuzhou, Fujian, China for the first four years of my life; Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, New York for eight years; western Massachusetts for four years; Boston, Massachusetts for two life-changing months; Burlington, Vermont for a year; San Francisco, California for a year. I've ran three official marathons to date, and I mostly do it for fun, although I hope to get better as I go along. I want to do one for every year I've lived. (Yes, this means I'm sixteen years behind.) It's a tradition I plan on doing for the rest of my life and nothing sort of illness should stop me. One time I ran an unofficial marathon (thirty miles) to the top of Cheaha Mountain in Alabama at 2AM in the morning because I missed the bus from Atlanta the day before. I've hiked the tallest natural points in four US states and plan to do the other forty-six sometime in the next few years, preferably by buying a car and going on a massive road trip. (Wahoo!) I've biked from Vancouver to Tijuana along the US Pacific coast and want to do more in the future: the Tour Divide, Transamerica, New York City to Key West, and New Zealand from top to bottom. (Don't tell anyone but I actually like biking more than I like running. Unfortunately it is also exponentially more expensive.)
I really like reading. I consider myself a pretty diverse reader. My favorite reads range from: this article about the making of The Last Express; the graphic novel series Bone as well as Amulet; A Little Life, A Death in the Family, When You Reach Me, Meddling Kids; East of Eden, Rooftoppers; The Goldfinch. I'm torn between wanting a personal library one day and just sticking to public libraries, which I practically grew up in and are one of my favorite places in the whole entire world. (Not to mention life-changing. The day I decided to check out a copy of Python for Kids I'd accidentally found at my local library was the day my life went down a completely different path.)
I'm a less diverse humorist and moving picture watcher. I'm not particularly highbrow. I enjoy watching trash. I particularly enjoy the Scary Movie series (so bad that they're so good, see the "Your Japanese Is Awful" scene if you want a laugh) and assorted chick flicks (when I said less diverse humorist, I meant poop jokes and Letterboxd reviews are funny to me, in fact I meant I have no sense of proper humor like the five year old that I am save for the occasional quip that I'm quite proud of); Studio Ghibli movies (have watched just about all of them, my favorites are Castle in the Sky, Whisper of the Heart, and Ponyo); Code Geass; Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated; Avatar, The Last Airbender, Amelie, Everything Everywhere All At Once, Bottoms.
I really like writing, as a natural extension of being a reader perhaps. I'm not particularly great at it but it's a really fun medium! (Another reason for this blog.) The Great American Sin, summer '23, torschlusspanik, A set of love letters, or a year in triptych. I would like to write more, and here are some things I'd like to publish sometime here (i.e., more shortform writing) that have been sitting in my drafts, in various states of completion:
The Goldfinch, one of my favorite books
Thoughts on bikes
Writing a toy linker in Zig
Wrapping my head around cryptography
I have a couple of novel ideas. (Isn't it interesting that novel has two meanings? Or rather: are good novels inherently novel?) I should really sit down and write them.
I really like listening to music. I grew up not really listening to music or playing it (surprising given cultural context, but my family wasn't financially well off enough to afford lessons or instruments). Up until I got a phone with a half broken audio jack at twelve, the most music I listened to was bad Chinese DJ-ing burned onto CDs in the car, The Chainsmokers, and very occasionally pop radio. I'm not a particularly diverse listener as I listen to mainly pop and genres on its fringe, but I think I'm (trying to, at least) growing outwards! Off the top of my head, I particularly enjoy electro/synth pop, indie pop, and indie rock. Artists I quite like off the top of my head are Dominic Fike; Baby Queen; Maggie Rogers; Lorde; Fred again...; Sam Fender; Charli XCX; Let's Eat Grandma; Sylvan Esso. Some of my favorite albums are: Heard It In A Past Life, What Could Possibly Go Wrong?, Melodrama, nur liebe, immer., 1989, how i'm feeling now, K-12, Actual Life 3, Glimmer of God; Funeral, Calico. I suppose I really like albums that have experimental storylines. I place a lot of emphasis on lyrical meaning ("before I met you, I don't think I paid that much attention to music lyrics"), but I want to develop a stronger ear for other parts of music. My tops are here. In terms of new music I'm listening, I'm really enjoying RØZ, Blusher, and Sofia Kourtesis right now.
I really like playing games, specifically ones that don't need too much hand-eye coordination. Looking at platformers here... I'm clumsy in real life and somehow that translates. (For context I have destroyed 1.5 laptops by spilling various liquids on them, lost two sets of AirPods, lost a iPhone 13 Max on the Old Pacific Highway where I think it's still lying to this day... although I am on a strong "I am responsible" streak). I really enjoy Hearthstone and Pokemon TCG. (It would be very cool to write a good emulator for it.) I actually really enjoy the entire Pokemon franchise, despite having never played any of the actual games. I grew up going to Target to play demos on the Nintendo DS and Wii and watching the TV series. One of these days.
I really like the idea of trying new things out. I want to learn how to swim without drowning. How to snorkel. How to drive a car. How to fly a plane. How to drive (?) a boat. How to draw well. How to write a good book. How to cook a good meal. How to take good photos with a camera. How to turn a film idea into a real film.
I really like beautiful things. Some things I think are beautiful are: Well-oiled hardwood floors. Books in stacks that've actually been read. Candle lighting. Instruments, especially guitars. Doc Martens. Well designed bikes; I'm a sucker for the look of carbon bikes with slick, well-bordered wheels, aero bars. The New York City skyline. Bezier curves are so elegant.
I really like rambling as you can tell. There are more things I like, but to keep it simple I've distilled it down to a simple theory: 80% of them start with the letter f. Some family friendly fun: food, friends, frolicking, falling in love, free things... I'm really only half-joking.
I dislike less things. Here I will talk about some of them:
I dislike having bad things, so I am aiming to be minimal and get top-of-the-line things. Most of my life right now fits in my 45L Patagona bag and a smaller backpack, though it won't be this way forever. The only other prized possession I have is my electric blue 2015 Masi CX (no, I haven't named it).
I dislike the fake busyness my headspce tends to enter and am actively trying to combat it. Perhaps Franz Kafka can summarize it better for me:
... time is short, my strength is limited, the office is a horror, the apartment is noisy, and if a pleasant, straightforward life is not possible one must try to wriggle through by subtle maneuvers.
I dislike the name my parents gave me. JC is really my initials (no more jokes about Jesus Christ!) because most people can't pronounce it and I don't like the ring of it, truth be told. I'm not sure what to change it to though. I came up with a pen name biking through San Diego; that's the only hint you'll get.
I believe in a lot of things:
I love you, and I'm sorry. Learn to say those two things. "All I've ever wanted was to know that people care about me to be there for me when it matters."
Where does the magic go? Don't let it go, keep making your own. Being grateful for and enjoying anything and everything viciously and vicariously makes life so good. Vicariously especially is underrated. I always get this bursting in my heart whenever I see people doing amazing things, whether they're my close friends or I've never met them or I'm not very much in contact with them anymore.
If your guts aren't shaking and you aren't fighting a smile you're doing something wrong.
Play your own game. Life is a game where you are minimax-ing risk, with the twist that you, and only you, define what risk is. In other words, the best way to play the game of life is to figure out how to minimize risk and maximize reward, and recognize that the twist is you not ought let other people define for you what that risk looks like. Another way of paraphrasing this latter part is that comparing yourself to other people is like comparing apples and oranges! Their idea of risk is not yours.
Related to this: You don't know what's normal without observing many different kinds of people and their thoughts/actions on what you think is normal, i.e. the average. This is why what you're born into really matters, and why traveling and talking to people of all different walks of life matters. Some of my biggest epiphanies have come from this, and a lot of my gratefulness for my life stems from this.
Related to this: It's really hard to be the best at something or even get close. The good thing about this is that there's less ego in the way of actually doing something good. E.g., you might not be a piano virtuoso but that doesn't mean you can't write meaningful music that has the chance to change someone's life or even just make people more. Happy.
Related to this: As a kid, you're forced to learn. As an adult, you realize that everything is about learning, yet no one is forcing you to learn. When you realize that learning is fun, it opens up a lot of new avenues of joy. See How to like everything more.
Related to this: There is a particularly strong joy to be found in the mundane. Doing the same things every day, or the same thing every year.
The world is not black and white. It's immature to think it is; everything grows and changes. I'm not black and white; the world is both worse and better for it.
… things get broken, and sometimes they get repaired, and in most cases, you realize that no matter what gets damaged, life rearranges itself to compensate for your loss, sometimes wonderfully.
A Little Life, Hanya Yanagihara
You think you look better, I know you feel worse
If nothing were numb, I think something would hurt
I've seen this before, never thought you'd be her
You're young and you're precious, your laugh is infectious
Your heart's big as Texas, don't think you're reckless
But maybe you strayed from the cross on your necklace
And now I feel selfish, 'cause I miss my best friend
Still skipping breakfast, and higher than Everest
Texas, Mallrat
Don't let other people tell you what to do, either directly or indirectly; this is what most people want in life. Don't be indecisive if you're not actually indecisive, out of what you assume is courtesy. The people who really love you will believe in you; don't let other people tell you that what you're doing is "stupid" without proper criticism. The people who really love you will figure out how to let you be you, even if it isn't always the easiest thing for them; don't let other people tell you that you can't do something or that you should wait for a specific condition determined by them to do it. If there are people in your life who do both, reconsider having them in your life ASAP; too long and you will hurt them and yourself deeply.
Pay it forward when you can. God, I love bike tourers so much; every single one I've ever talked to regularly shares this like it's gospel. Which it is.
This quote from Franklin Roosevelt:
This generation of Americans has a rendezvous with destiny.
Go for a really long bike ride, feel your feelings, and one night you'll sit on a random sidewalk in Thousand Oaks with someone watching cars speed past the two of you and realize:
It took all of California
To remind you why you came
Monterey to Camarillo, Camarillo to LA
Driving with the headlights off
Ribbons running down your face
'Cause you've never known love like that
...
And you remember why you came
And suddenly you're sober
...
Just happy, to be here at all
And suddenly you're older
Spinning the turnstile, over and over
...
It's brave to be nothing to no one, at all
It's out of my hands
Ribbons, Ryan Beatty
You're not stupid, you're just missing the fundamentals. And it doesn't help that your attention span doesn't help you sometimes.
Everything is so funny! I repeat everything is so funny
If you would like to donate to a good cause, I highly recommend donating to Hack Club, which changed my life personally and I'm sure has done so for many others.
If you are looking for something to read, I like to do a bit of online reading when I can. I also keep a private reading list, but at some point I may make it public.